Cleaning out the pipes..........

When you get to a certain age of life, you are required to take a test.  Nope .... not the drivers license test.  Not an eye test.  Not an IQ test......... but that should be mandatory before they let you get the drivers license!!

No ... you get to have a colonoscopy.  Yea .... fun.

This is my story about colonoscopies.

A couple of years ago, I agreeably went in to have the test.  I eat well ... I get lots of fiber.... I don't eat junk food.  This would be a breeze.  I would simply consider it a fast.

As I was waking up, the doctor informed me that they found a polyp.  I still thought .... no big deal.  But it turned out to be an aggressive pre-cancerous polyp and I would have to have another test.

That test was clear and fine.  I was told I was good to go for five years.

Fast forward two years.

Last winter, Honey received a postcard in the mail, stating that he was due for a test.  I asked when I was due, thinking that I could get this little number in and done as my deductible was paid.  Oh, you aren't due for quite a while.

In April, the postcard comes.  You send me something in........ April?!?!?!?  Are you crazy????

So I did the rational thing ....... I ignored it.

In June, a reminder of the reminder postcard came.  You send me something in........ June?!?!?!?  Are you crazy????  Talk to me in October.

And I ignored it.

In July, I get the full-blown letter with a copy sent to my doctor.  Then my doctor's office starts calling .... twice.  Then my doctor called.  I'm pretty certain I had the test without the benefit of anesthesia!!!  I was told ... in no uncertain terms ... to make an appointment!!!

I made the appointment.

So ..... today I am on a liquid diet. No dairy ... no tomato juice .... no orange juice ... no alcohol.

I can have a Popsicle.......... but no purple. That leaves orange.  Not so much!!!

I can have gelatin........... but no cherry. No black cherry.  No strawberry

Are there any other flavors????  And don't say ......lime.  So-called lime gelatin has no resemblance to a lime!  The best I can say ..... it tastes green.  And not a good tasting green!!!!

So far today ....... I have been sipping coffee.  OK -- I've been chugging coffee.  Lots of coffee.  And its 11 a.m. 

And.  I.  Am.  s-t-a-r-v-i-n-g!!! I am a very-wired grumpy individual! 

Now .. don't leave me messages about how important this test is.  Cuz I know. The test is actually very very easy to go through.  But I am a little scared of the findings this time. This was a very aggressive type of pre-cancerous polyp and the chemo is the mostly deadly chemotherapy out there. Our family oncologist has already kicked my butt too! But I'm just a little busy and January would have been a better option.

But by this time tomorrow, I will be done. And you might be able to find me at the all-you-can-eat buffet, scarfing down everything in sight.  But most likely, you will find me at the Cafe Indigo.  Yum!

Can't go messing up that sparkling clean colon with a lot of junk food!!!!!!!


Colleen said…
Thanks for sharing about the Cafe Indigo, Have never heard of it (how sad for a native) but will have to try the place. Sounds delicious. Just keep this place in your mind as you survive today's forced fast and cleaning out.
Chanin said…
So what last meal did you decide on last night?
Miss Effie said…
Chanin... greasy but good!!!!!! Shrimp and onion rings!
Nancy K. said…
I found that adding a single-serving packet of Crystal light (lemon flavored) to each glass of the "go lightly" made it taste good ~ yes, I actually said GOOD and helped me not feel so hungry. I also drank it out of my favorite mug, which I kept in the freezer between 'servings'. It made the whole experience much more pleasant.
Barb said…
Will be thinking of you tomorrow. Happy eating afterwards. (After my last colonoscopy, heading for a family type cafe I had to yell "PULL OVER" to my hubby. Didn't make it two miles before the after effects of the anesthesia hit me. Straight home, did not pass go, did not eat anything until much later in the day. Hope this doesn't happen to you.)

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