In the ring of Life...........

I have a reputation as being a bit of a fighter.

I love a good fight.  Fights for the under-dog ... political fights ... fights against injustice ... fights for equal rights.

I fought for health care ... I fought for hunger ... I fought for food activism and awareness of what we are eating.

But right now ... I am fought out.

Life .. at the moment ... seems to be a daily struggle.  What bill to pay?  How do I keep my egg cost as low as possible and yet, see the feed cost sky rocket?  Do I buy the flour that I love for baking my bread ... or do I look at the less-expensive yet the less desirable brand?

Do I sell a hat ... for the cost of the yarn and the time it really takes to create it .... or do I sell it for "what the market will bear"? Do I bake bread to sell ..... and see it sit unsold ... because of poor weather?

Do I stack wood ... or sew ... or clean?  Do I get the garden cleaned ... rake leaves or ..... button up the chicken coop? Do I knit ... or iron ... or do dishes?  Do I bake bread ... make noodles ... or cook down jam from the blackberries in the freezer?

Where do I find the time and energy it takes to survive .......... yet get to enjoy the life I so love?

I appreciate the political debates and what I need to do to "keep the American way of life".  I admire the "Occupy Wall Street" movement and those that are speaking out and telling many of our economic struggles. And I respect many of the battles that my friends are going through ... trying to survive the rules of an unjust system.

But right now ... I am out of training.  I am a fat lazy Rocky Balboa that can't make it up the steps.

Jousting windmills can be fun ... but today ... right now ... has to be my windmills.

I'd say I've retired from fighting ... but you know me.  Like Ali, Frazier and others ... I'll be back.  But for now ... I need a rest!


Michelle said…
Your thoughts echo those in one of my own blog posts in the recent past. Sometimes we just get worn down, and think we might as well just stay down on the mat. But the next day I was counting some of my blessings and the days began to look brighter. I know yours will, too, but it's okay to be down for the count right now. You are appreciated!
Barb said…
I agree with you and Michelle. That has been my feeling lately as well. We've had such a fight on our hands here lately in our church with quite a few issues and the latest discovering that a fund that was to be set up for us 21 years ago for a housing allowance was never funded. So when we leave here there is no fund for us to get a place to live. The contract wasn't followed and since we brought this to light people are looking as us as being greedy. Deep, heart-hurting sigh.....

Somedays I just don't know what we are going to do. I'm tired.

I've started reading a book called World Enough and Time about claiming "our time" and getting out of the crazy busy way of life. So far so good.

I understand the dilema of what to charge for things (ie: eggs) and in my case, massages. I've raised my prices once in 10 years but know that I can't do it again or I will lose clients...clients that go on winter vacations to warm climes and drive new cars and live in their own homes.....

Maybe we all just need to take a little retreat together, drink beer, eat really good girl food and get ourselves back on track.

Sorry for the ramble, but thanks for "listening".
Miss Effie said…
Barb and Michelle ... thank you. Thank you for understanding.

We have a problem in the community ...I should be in the midst of it ... but I just can't.

It doesn't affect me.. will make no difference in my life ...but people trying to drag me into it. And I just don't have it in me.

Barb -- we need to get together. We need a half-way point ... Mineral Point? Dodgeville? Or a little farther north??
Beth said…
I just told a friend that I have felt in a funk for the last month- everything seems overwhelming and I feel like my joy is slipping away, which of course, makes my entire house miserable. So I will pray for you. Please say a prayer for me. And forgive me for not getting out to you as much as I wish I could. Love to you.
seanymph said…
I think everyone is feeling like this today. Even if you stock up on things, next time you shop, prices are doubled or more. Meanwhile your living on a small unemployment check (which you are grateful for) that doesnt cover enough of anything so everything is falling behind. If I didnt need electricity and gas for heat and cooking, Id stop paying. If I didnt need cable cuz its also my phone and internet and my connection to all my family far delete it. And insurances.......should I gamble and just not pay them.....cuz there is no money for that......on wait theres no money cuz the property taxes have to be paid now. Sigh. Theres good and bad to that Occupy movement but I think they do represent most of us who are tired, disgruntled and mad.

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