Getting Lit!

No!  Not like that!!!

Though I have to admit I have been known to drink one too many pale ales.  And if truth be known, the Beer Angel knows exactly what I want when I walk on the patio.

But this is not about my devotion to brewed barley, wheat and malt ....... with touch of hops.

This is about outdoor lighting.

Outdoor lighting has been my nemesis for several years now.  We can not find anything out there that we like.   Most outdoor lighting fixtures look like they belong at a Tiki Bar.  Which isn't a bad thing ......... but Miss Eff's isn't a Tiki bar.

Beer is much easier.

I don't want plastic fixtures .... I don't want to spend hundreds of dollars for generic fixtures.

So we continue to search and hope that some where, some place, some one will create something that fits!

And tonight ... was another failed exploration at Menard's.

Until I came across these ...................

Note to new readers ........ this is the part that the sarcasm font should be installed.  Unfortunately, it is not available on Blogger.  If by some strange and unusual chance that you love these lights and I have offended you ........ please accept my apology.  I am certain it won't be the last time that I need to apologize!  That's just who I am.

Plastic solar lily lights in purple and white.  Calla lilies available in coral.  They are life-like.  They said so on the tag.

Real lily.


Life-like lily.



Yea.  They didn't and won't ever ever be coming home with me.

I think I need a drink.

A Tiki bar may not be a bad idea!


melanie said…
Sadly, there are many who won't know the difference....thank God for the ability to play with real plants!
Dan Mays said…
Landscape lighting is largely a marketing ruse. Yes, in certain public locations, I can see the dictates of a safe environment. In fact, at my last house in Davenport, I did install a few -- very few -- low-voltage lights which addressed the safety problem of guests not being able to readily discern the exact location of the pathway & stairs leading to my entryway at night.

The lights were diminutive, but effective in addressing a safety issue that I determined was present simply by watching night-time guests arrive.

This whole landscape lighting issue is largely driven by the folks who don't know spit about picante sauce (They are from New York City!)

Personally, I much prefer to scoff at the notion and instead celebrate one of the magical beauties of the Midwest: the night sky. How are you going to enjoy this celestial wonder when a damn light bulb is glaring in your eyes obscuring the stars?

The conditions of the eastern United States are much different. For one, they generally have a lot more trees blocking the mystical light filtering in from the moon and stars. Poor folks -- they just don't get to experience this Midwestern delight.

I want to revel in the magic of the night; not fear it.
Linda said…
Plants and animals have diurnal rhythms that light disturbs. I believe all things deserve the rest of darkness. One person observed that trees and shrubs lit at night are not as hardy as trees in the same location, but in the dark.
Have you seen the cute mason-jars turned lights? They just use the tops of the inexpensive solar lights and add them to the top of a canning jar. It's totally on my list. And I think they are super adorable.

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