Hanging on for dear life ...........

Today is National Suicide Prevention Day and I have just got to talk.

This is a topic that we have quietly skirted around for AGES.  And we just have to talk about it.

OK -- for those of you who don't know..... I suffer from depression. 

Deep depression. 

Chronic depression.

Now ... like the tide ... it ebbs and flows.  I will have absolutely fantastic periods of my life.  And I have moments that I really do crash and burn.

I have suffered from this for decades.  As a small child ... 9 or 10 .... I really believed that I wouldn't be missed if I was dead.  At one point, I sooooooo wanted to die but I didn't want my daughter to have that memory of me.

And somehow .... through all the planning, the thoughts ..... I survived the darkness.

And the sun shined through my day.

Oh ... if you knew me then ... you may be surprised.  I laughed.  I giggled. I partied.  I crafted.  I worked.  I succeeded.

But with every breath ..... I struggled from within.  I was hanging on for dear life.  Sometimes, by a teensy, tiny thread. 

So for the last twenty years .... I have done reasonably well with prayer, medication and a wonderful husband.

But last month ... Robin Williams lost his battle with depression.

Talent, money, the best of therapists, the love of his family, and the adoration of his fans ..... and he lost his battle.

And I was scared.  If he could lose his battle, could I?

Today is National Suicide Prevention Day.

If you feel down, talk to someone. 

You. Are. Not. Alone.

And if you have never been touched by depression ... there are things you can do.
Tell your friends you love them. 
Reach out and hug someone.
If you see someone spiraling out of control .... get them help.


In 1991 ......... I was sooooooo close to the edge.
Catie grabbed my hand ... pulled me back from edge and led me to help.

Everyday ...  in every prayer ... I thank her for that.

Please be somebody's Catie.


Barb said…
I am so thankful to have met you and have become a part of your "virtual" life. Thank goodness you didn't leave us!!! The world would be a bit less bright without your amazing energy and creativity.
David Feeney said…
You are loved. How would I cook without you to deliver the fruits of the hens? How would I know the difference between mayo and Miracle Whip? How would I know where to get the best steaks? I know I need medicine to manage my depression. Please let me help you as you struggle and ponder.

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