The Hermit within me

I have been having issues.

OK .. I have always had issues but this seem to be getting worse.  I struggle with leaving the house.  Seriously struggle. 

I put off going to the grocery store.  I don't want to drive down the road.  I don't want to meet up with friends.  I don't want to get my haircut or go shopping. I just want to be ............ safe. 

Honey sometimes insists that we ....... go.  But I want to stay at home.  I try but some days are not good.

I don't hyperventilate.  There is no heart palpitations.  Just fear. Doubt. Self-loathing.

I feel like I am being judged.

I feel like I am alone.

So ... if I back away from an invitation or don't participate in a group .... please don't be offended.

I need to get my feet firmly on the ground. 

And there is an earthquake within me.