Back in April, I wrote this post about depression. I have been on medication for 90 days now and I wanted to share how I feel and how I felt.
First of all ......... I FEEL FANTASTIC!!!!
I respond extremely well to medication ... and I know that. But what I had tried to do in the last 10 years was to live without it. . So I prayed more, surrounded myself with people that loved me and thought I would be ok. There is a stigma that if you take medication ... you are weak. No one would ever say that if I had high blood pressure or diabetes.
But with depression .... it is another story.
Bottom line .... I can not go without Prozac.
I think that is the best word to describe my days............ I feel lighter!!!!
First all, depression rears its ugly head a couple of different ways in me.
I sleep too much ......... I can not get enough sleep. It could be noon .... and I will be ready for a nap. It could be 7:30 and I will be horizontal on the couch. Some people ........ don't sleep at all.
I eat too much .... food comforts me. Helpings are larger. More carbs .... more breads .... lots more sweets. For other people, they don't eat.
And I hyper-focus. I focus on things that I do well. It make be the job I had .... it may be a craft project. But all my energy and work goes toward that. And nothing else.
Some people have a difficult time focusing. And when I started my meds, I was having trouble with staying on a task. I would bribe myself to finish the dishes, make the bed, plant this row. I consciously had to work through the project.
Now .... I start my list and can easily cross off projects.
I still have a lot of recovering to do. My house is a disaster .... from the hyper-focus thing. And the business of this time of year does not help! But slowly I am climbing out of problem.
I am happy ......... but more importantly........ I am joyful.
Life will never be perfect. I will never be perfect. I will always disappoint someone or won't be liked by somebody else. It is their loss.
Cuz I'm pretty cool ......... even with meds.
Just as you are!