Dr. Phil, I think we have a problem.
If you have been reading this blog for a while -- or if this is your first post -- you have discovered that I have "issues." I am eccentric ...... unique ........ creative(?) .......... or as the majority of Americans would say ---- just plain weird.
In accordance to a 12-step program that I am certain must be out there ......... I will admit to the fact that I am a hoarder. Yep --- there I said it.
Now -- I am not the kind of hoarder that won't part with an envelope or has a ball of string 3 feet tall. Nope. I hoard the important things.
We all know I hoard chickens. Never used to be a problem. I was content with 25 or 30 pretty chickens. Then I met Sheepie Neighbor. She likes pretty chickens too. Fortunately, I no longer consider hoarding chickens a problem --- we are just creative entrepreneurial women trying to make a "Baaack" from selling pretty eggs.
I hoard books .............. I love books. Books on sewing, books on knitting, books on tractors, new books, old books. I love books. Don't ever let me work for Barnes and Noble. I would be dangerous.
I have always hoarded yarn --- now, I hoard hand-spun yarn. Yarns from Shetland and Dorset and Corriedale. Yarns made with silk and cashmere and alpaca. I love yarn.
And since I hoard yarn, I had to hoard darning eggs. Sixty-egg of them. All wood -- all totally different. You never know exactly what darner you will need to fix a hole in a pair of hand-knit socks made from hand-spun yarn!!!! (Yep!! I just justified that one!!!!)
But last night -- my hoarding instincts reached a new high. Or low. Depending on your definition of "issues".
I have lived through gas shortages, coffee shortages and Johnny Carson-induced toliet paper shortages. Please don't put me through a canning jar shortage.
Yep ..... it has happened. Canning is hip, cool, in .................... or those Chinese people that make all the canning jars have spent too much time watching the Olympics. We now have a canning jar shortage. OMG! What will I do?????
Sheepie Neighbor and I are on the phone. Farm and Fleet doesn't have canning jars, Fareway doesn't have canning jars, Hy-vee doesn't have canning jars. We are desperate women. I have 70 tomato plants ............ my buckets runneth over!! I need jars!!
I search and I search and discover that Iowa's Largest Privately Owned Discount Store (Paul's) has canning jars. So I have them set back a few cases. And then I rush up there ....... to grab all I can. OK -- all I can afford. (That is two different things!) I fill up two carts full of jars. While I'm in the aisle, I whisper to another jar hoarder ..... "You know, there are no more jars in town." And he rapidly stuffs his cart full of jars!!!
(While I'm writing this post -- I get a call from Sheepie Neighbor. She has found more jars. How much are they I ask. She doesn't know and like me, she doesn't care. She has apples to can!!!)
Now 10 cases of canning jars sit in my laundry room waiting to be filled with tomatoes, potatoes and apples.
So as Sheepie Neighbor and I sit on Dr. Phil's couch, I will try to explain to him that I am a woman that makes soup without help from Progresso. Do you think he will get it????
In accordance to a 12-step program that I am certain must be out there ......... I will admit to the fact that I am a hoarder. Yep --- there I said it.
Now -- I am not the kind of hoarder that won't part with an envelope or has a ball of string 3 feet tall. Nope. I hoard the important things.
We all know I hoard chickens. Never used to be a problem. I was content with 25 or 30 pretty chickens. Then I met Sheepie Neighbor. She likes pretty chickens too. Fortunately, I no longer consider hoarding chickens a problem --- we are just creative entrepreneurial women trying to make a "Baaack" from selling pretty eggs.
I hoard books .............. I love books. Books on sewing, books on knitting, books on tractors, new books, old books. I love books. Don't ever let me work for Barnes and Noble. I would be dangerous.
I have always hoarded yarn --- now, I hoard hand-spun yarn. Yarns from Shetland and Dorset and Corriedale. Yarns made with silk and cashmere and alpaca. I love yarn.
And since I hoard yarn, I had to hoard darning eggs. Sixty-egg of them. All wood -- all totally different. You never know exactly what darner you will need to fix a hole in a pair of hand-knit socks made from hand-spun yarn!!!! (Yep!! I just justified that one!!!!)
But last night -- my hoarding instincts reached a new high. Or low. Depending on your definition of "issues".
I have lived through gas shortages, coffee shortages and Johnny Carson-induced toliet paper shortages. Please don't put me through a canning jar shortage.
Yep ..... it has happened. Canning is hip, cool, in .................... or those Chinese people that make all the canning jars have spent too much time watching the Olympics. We now have a canning jar shortage. OMG! What will I do?????
Sheepie Neighbor and I are on the phone. Farm and Fleet doesn't have canning jars, Fareway doesn't have canning jars, Hy-vee doesn't have canning jars. We are desperate women. I have 70 tomato plants ............ my buckets runneth over!! I need jars!!
I search and I search and discover that Iowa's Largest Privately Owned Discount Store (Paul's) has canning jars. So I have them set back a few cases. And then I rush up there ....... to grab all I can. OK -- all I can afford. (That is two different things!) I fill up two carts full of jars. While I'm in the aisle, I whisper to another jar hoarder ..... "You know, there are no more jars in town." And he rapidly stuffs his cart full of jars!!!
(While I'm writing this post -- I get a call from Sheepie Neighbor. She has found more jars. How much are they I ask. She doesn't know and like me, she doesn't care. She has apples to can!!!)
Now 10 cases of canning jars sit in my laundry room waiting to be filled with tomatoes, potatoes and apples.
So as Sheepie Neighbor and I sit on Dr. Phil's couch, I will try to explain to him that I am a woman that makes soup without help from Progresso. Do you think he will get it????
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