Heating up the Bedroom...................

No! Not like that!!!

Though my mother would tell you that a sexy nightie is never a waste of money.

But I digress.

Nope ...... its my old house. Built in 1892, it sits on a hill. In the midst of a cornfield. In Iowa.

The heating system upstairs lacks something to be desired. Like heat. Yep! There is no heat in the upstairs of our house. Just the residual heat that drifts up from downstairs. So it is not unusual for water to freeze if sitting in a glass overnight.

We survive quite nicely ....... most of the time. Our bed is covered with flannel sheets, a wool blanket, a cotton blanket, a down comforter, a matelasse bedspread and a fleece throw.

And the all-important electric mattress pad.

Which is where this story is going.

Honey and I sleep in an antique oak bed. Full size. Not a queen. Not a king. Just an old-fashioned full size bed. And there is more than enough room for us ....... and Patches Ann, the cat. But the wonderful world of retail has deemed full-size beds only for children that have out-grown the crib.

Electric mattress pads for queen and king size beds have dual controls. Our current full-size mattress pad has dual controls. Our last two electric mattress pads had dual controls. But there lies the problem.

In the past 5 or 6 years, dual controls seem to have been eliminated from full size. We have searched and searched and searched to no avail. This is a crisis!

Seriously, you put a menopausal woman and a man with marginal circulation skills and put them in a bed with one control ............... and someone isn't getting out alive!!!!!

I get into bed freezing........... toes frozen from the 12 steps and the 4 seconds it takes me to get upstairs. I like the bed super super hot! Top of the scale! Burning with heat. A little more heat and I would be tan in February!

Honey, on the other hand, likes a warm bed to crawl into but immediately turns his controls down to keep a gentle warmth going all night.

Miss Eff is fine ........ until about midnight. And suddenly Mother Nature hits with a wave of her own Equatorial-like heat and the flannel sheets, cotton blanket, wool blanket, down comforter, matelasse bedspread and the fleece throw are tossed aside! Where is that glass of water with the ice on it????????

This lasts until about 1 a.m. And Miss Eff is freezing again! Honey........ why are you taking all the blankets???

I crawl back into the warmth of the flannel sheets, cotton blanket, wool blanket, down comforter, matelasse bedspread and the fleece throw. All is fine. Until 3-3:30 and that wall of heat hits again. Seriously, can I breathe?????? And again, the flannel sheets, cotton blanket, wool blanket, down comforter, matelasse bedspread and fleece throw bite the dust. Until 5 am when the alarm goes off and hypothermia has set in!

Now ..... I don't remember any of the above. This is all told to me by Honey. Who, by the way, is warm and snug in the flannel sheets, cotton blanket, wool blanket, down comforter, matelasse bedspread and the fleece throw.

Do you see why one control will not work??????

So in self-defense, I bought a new wool blanket. ($5 .... Salvation Army!) Well -- it is new. Never used. Tag is firmly attached. But it has been around for a while -- a little moth damage -- but it should hold the heat just fine. (Cambridge, Minnesota woolen mill -- I can find nothing on the mill. It is definitely closed but I can't find out when that happened)


And its mine............. all mine. Sigh.